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We need to remember it can be both Women and Men who suffer Domestic Violence

This was written in as a letter to the Editor, and yes Domestic Violence can happen to both Men and Women. Fran Says “keep an eye out for your nearest and dearest in times like this” Men can contact Men’s Hotline on 1800 600 636 or go to http://www.dvconnect.org/mensline/what-is-domestic-family-violence/ it’s a 24 hour service.

Domestic violence is a scourge in our society and impacts many lives.  Hairdressers with Heart, Red Benches and White ribbon initiatives are doing a marvellous job bringing the issue out into the open.  However, the main focus seems to be on women.  High profile cases like Rosie Batty and Hanna Clark and her three beautiful daughters are brought into the spotlight and of course there has been a tragic loss of young beautiful lives.

However, let me remind you that females are often abusive too.  Men are less likely to speak out as it is not the macho thing to do, admitting you are being bashed by the little woman.  Even in my own family, I have a daughter in law with post-natal depression who is refusing treatment and my son is being emotionally abused and berated all the time.  She has even started on me with nasty verbal abuse.  My brother’s wife has early onset dementia (late 50's) and psychosis and receives treatment but the medications are no longer holding her stable and my dear brother has been physically and emotionally abused for many years.  Neither of these two relatives would talk about it for years, but I noticed a change in them both (sadness, not laughing anymore and just not being their bubbly selves).  Eventually, after a lot of prodding, they opened up to me about what was going on and we were able to talk about the problem. My son refuses to leave his relationship as he has two beautiful children aged two and four to consider.  My heart is breaking watching these two males go through such abuse.

When you hear how the Coronavirus is creating a lot of anxiety and tension as we face the unknown, extra unemployment etc. it is always stated in the media that women and children will be abused.  This is definitely not the case as women can be extremely abusive also as I have found out from my own family and within my nursing career.  I urge you all to monitor your family and friends, see if you notice a change in their behaviour and if so please reach out to them.  I urge you all to be kind to each other during our current coronavirus crisis whether you are male or female.  An act of kindness can go such long way in brightening someone’s day.

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