By Sheree Hoddinett
I reached another milestone in my life recently, celebrating my 40th birthday. Yes, I’m aware I’m still quite young in the whole scheme of things, but gone are the days where I feel like a spring chicken! I’m sure there are many out there who resonate with my feelings on this one, that turning 40 is nothing like I expected it to be. I wasn’t waiting for fireworks or a grand parade in my honour of course, but I guess you could say that I had a moment of slight panic, unsure if I had achieved enough in my life to warrant celebrating 40 years.
Now this is not a woe is me piece, more a light hearted attempt at framing my life into the ‘fun’ and ‘fabulous’ time that turning such a big number should represent. There’s certainly another f-word that may have popped into my head instead! And no it’s not old ‘fart’, but there are days my body creaks and groans enough that I definitely feel it.
But the idea of turning 40 horrified me a little bit more than turning 30 did. A lot has happened in the last 10 years, including the birth of my second daughter, divorce, having to put my big girl pants on and get back out into the dating world (there’s some ummm ’interesting’ people out there), navigating the tough freelancing world with my work, finding out that my pancreas had officially given up and an insulin pump would become my friend for life, farewelling some amazing people in my life and then eventually making the big jump to move in with my now partner and our tribe of kids. It’s been a lot and this is probably just the skimmed version!
While a lot of these are big achievements/moments in my life, I can’t help but wonder, should I have done more by this stage of my life? I know we all move and operate in different ways and of course you can’t predict the big challenges that unexpectedly happen along the way, but there’s always going to be that niggling feeling of “what if”? It certainly keeps life interesting that’s for sure.
I always hoped I’d be fitter, so I’m working on it, better late than never right?! I’m doing the best I can with my health, given my autoimmune condition is out of my hands, but I do my best to manage and keep on top of that. When it comes to adding to the financial bucket, I really wish there was more moolah filling that up and I’m definitely working on that too, but if anyone needs someone with writing experience, I’m definitely your girl!
While I navigate the idea of being in my 40’s (noooooo!! haha!) please know that I’m also facing the prospect of dealing with young daughters (and I can’t forget the bonus kids too) who are fast approaching their tweens and teens – send help now! I’m not sure who has the biggest resolve not to give up arguing, me or the lovely mini versions of myself. Only time will tell how this one may play out or who may actually survive.
I’m sure 40 is as fabulous or is that “flabulous” as I can make it. Some much wiser (okay older too) than me, tell me I have the best years still ahead of me. That may take some convincing! Either way I’m going to give it my best shot, what other choice do I really have? The wrinkles and grey hair will keep taking over anyway! Never fear I will attempt to embrace 40 as well as I do most things in my life, with a brazen confidence that may just get me through.
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